Vol 54: Issue 44

American Voices, Opinion

Democrats Express Certainty They Will Retake The House
Local

Conservative Floridian Enjoys Living Under Sharia Law More Than He Thought He Would
News, News In Brief

High School History Textbook Concludes With Little Blurb About Last 40 Years
American Voices, Opinion

Ben And Jerry’s Releases Donald Trump Resistance-Inspired Flavor
Local

‘Once They Put Me On Cheeses, I Will Finally Be Happy,’ Says Costco Employee Handing Out Free Vienna Sausage Samples
News, News In Brief

New Study Finds Reading Comprehension Down Amongst Dumb Fucks Perusing This Headline
Politics

New Trump Campaign Ad Claims That Illegal Immigrants Currently Murdering You With Knife
Dispatch, News

Wealthy Americans Assure Populace That Heavily Armed Floating City Being Built Above Nation Has Nothing To Do With Anything
Politics

White House Concerned Ryan Zinke Made Land Deal Without Giving Cut To Trump
Politics

Midterms 2018: Key Senate Races To Watch
Local

Doctor Advises Man With Healthy Blood Pressure To Really Fucking Let It Rip
Entertainment, Magazine

The Nation’s Most Picturesque Landscapers
American Voices, Opinion

Angela Merkel To Step Down In 2021
Cartoons, Opinion

Exorcise Your Right
Local

Child Venture Capitalist Invests $2.50 In Friend’s Slug-Eating Enterprise
Politics

Brian Kemp Campaign Energized After Seeing Early Voter Suppression Numbers
News, News In Brief

FiveThirtyEight Staff Finds Hundreds Of Nate Silvers Representing Every Voting Demographic In America After Disastrous Aggregator Explosion

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