• Mormon Family Trying To Ignore Dog’s Huge Boner

  • Guy At Gym Keeps Offering To Spot Everyone

  • Toddler Thrown From Dog

  • Space Pen Explodes

  • Gay Man Comes Out To Cat

  • Designated Driver Stoned

  • Grandfather Clocked

  • Novel Obviously Written At Coffee Shop

  • Date Reeks Of Febreeze

  • Child In Stroller Stares At Man In Wheelchair

  • Rear End Justifies Means

  • Pancakes ‘Famous’

  • Eiffel Tower Washes Up On Delaware Beach

  • Package Tracked Doggedly

  • Some Lady Weeping In Dairy Aisle

  • Cheese Spill Cleaned Up With Nacho

  • Pre-Nup Skimmed

  • Perverted Ninja Enjoys Being Seen

  • Maid Frenched

  • Backrub Turns Ugly


The Onion: Sending Emails For Over A Hundred Years.

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