The Week In Pictures – Week Of February 3, 2020

Published:

February 3, 2020

CDC Urges Americans To Just Say No If Friend Offers Them Coronavirus

Tragedy Mask Clearly Jealous Of Comedy Mask

Mike Pompeo: ‘There Is Overwhelming And Undeniable Evidence To Support Going To War With Whoever’

Amy Klobuchar Enters 18th Minute Of Tense Standoff With Iowa Rally Crowd Who Haven’t Laughed At Her Joke

Bolton Pledges To Donate All Proceeds From Book Towards Killing Iranians

Experts Unable To Determine Why Someone As Rich As Justin Bieber Even Needs To Believe In God Anymore

Xi Jinping Vows To Combat Coronavirus By Making It Illegal To Mention Within A Week

Parents Impressed By How Big Baby Has Gotten After Just 16 Months Of CrossFit

Black-Metal Fan Conflicted About Supporting Artist Who’s Never Been Convicted Of Murder

Royal Caribbean Vessel Erupts From Mount Saint Helens After 8,000-Mile Cruise Through Center Of Earth

Seattle Mariners Offhandedly Suggest Astros’, Red Sox’ Titles Be Awarded To Them Instead

CBS Inks Deal For 30-Episode Bloomberg Ad

Real New Yorker Folds Slice Of Cheesecake In Half Before Eating

New Evidence Reveals Library Of Alexandria Kicked Out Dozens Of Creepy Old Romans For Looking At Pornographic Images On Abacus

Joni Ernst Insists She Hasn’t Seen Any Impeachment Evidence That Has Changed Her Self-Serving Political Calculus

Chris Matthews Warns Bernie Sanders Victory Runs Risk Of Making Him Look Stupid 2 Elections In A Row

Cow In Really Great Shape

Sanders Unveils Job-Training Program To Provide Meaningful Work To Low-Skilled Op-Ed Writers

Aaron Rodgers Pledges To Dedicate Off-Season To Growing As Brand Ambassador

Kushner Promises Israel Plan Will Relocate All Palestinians To Generous Swath Of Mediterranean Sea

Lost Grandfather With Dementia Found Hundreds Of Miles Away From Home Wandering International Space Station

‘USA!’ Chants Patriotic Man Envisioning 2-Mile Square Radius Of His Homogenized Suburb

Olive Garden Food Scientists Rapidly Running Out Of Foods To Scampi

Hubble Telescope Reveals Earth Caught In Massive Spider Web Spanning Entire Galaxy

Elon Musk Rushes To Aid Of Overturned Tesla Pinned On Top Of Child

Recently Unearthed Ancient Sumerian Cuneiform Tablet Depicts Earliest Known Observance Of Ladies’ Night

‘You’re A Piece Of Shit And I Hope Everyone Like You Dies,’ Says Biden To Democratic Voter In Stirring Call For Party Unity

Exhausted ‘1917’ Cinematographer Still Holding Single Shot Months After Film’s Release

Smart Fridge Fires Beer Into Crowd Of Appliances During Google Home’s Rager In Vacationing Family’s House

Frito-Lay Pledges Party-Size Bag Of Plain Potato Chips To Help Combat World Hunger

Report: Fighting Rising Tide Of Authoritarianism Sounds Like A Lot Of Work

Increased Security Requirements For Super Bowl Mandate All Fan Clothes Be Made From Transparent Plastic

Panicked Referee Trying To Retrieve Super Bowl Coin From Vending Machine Before Opening Toss

‘I’m Just Here For The Commercials,’ Jokes Man At Super Bowl Party Too Embarrassed To Admit He Desperate For Any Human Company

Nick Bosa Frustrated Some Guy Always Standing In Way When He’s Trying To Rush Pocket

FOX Adds Highlighted Line On Field Showing Women How Far Away They Should Stay From Tyreek Hill

Sammy Watkins Stops Running In Middle Of Route To Look Around, Soak In This Special Moment

‘She’s About My Age,’ Reports Mom Watching Halftime Show

Bored 49ers Fan Already Watched J. Lo Perform At Start-Up’s Holiday Party

Adorable Super Bowl Encourages Fans To Adopt Abandoned, Stray Football Players

Mike Shanahan Storms Onto Super Bowl Field To Berate Ref For Bullshit Call Against His Boy

Chiefs Finally Overcome Curse Of Not Being Good For A Very Long Time

Victorious Patrick Mahomes Thanks Bears For Drafting Mitchell Trubisky

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