Vol 55: Issue 39

Politics

Slide-Whistleblower Complaint Reveals Trump’s Pants Around Ankles
News, News In Brief

‘New York Times’ Offers To Disclose Whistleblower Identity To Readers Who Subscribe In Next 24 Hours
American Voices, Opinion

Creator Of Labradoodle Says Making Breed His Life’s ‘Greatest Regret’
Politics

Mitch McConnell Dodges Reporter’s Question By Quickly Stepping Into Empty Elevator Shaft
News, News In Brief

New Hellmann’s Theme Park To Feature World’s Longest Lazy Mayo River
Sports

Cubs Pitching Coach Forced To Clean Up Trembling, Piss-Covered Pitchers After Leaving Them Locked In Bullpen All Day
Entertainment

Aging Tom Cruise No Longer Able To Climb Outer Wall Of Skyscraper Without Taking Break Halfway Through
Entertainment, Magazine

I Was Overweight, Depressed, Broke, Drinking Too Much, Tired All The Time, Unhappily Married, Had Terrible Breath, My Penis Was Bleeding, Like, A Lot, My Pets Were Dying On A Daily Basis, I Was In The KKK, I Had Committed 17 Murders, I Was 86 Years Old, I Was A Heavy Smoker, And I Only Had One Tooth Which Was Over A Foot Long. Here’s How I Turned It All Around.
Infographic, News

How Gentrification Works
News, News In Photos

Disoriented Amber Guyger Opens Fire After Mistakenly Entering Wrong Courtroom
Politics

Lindsey Graham Demands To Know How Trump Supposed To Lead Nation Under Such Rampant Accountability
OGN

Nintendo Releases New ‘Mario Kart’ Sedan Controller
American Voices, Opinion

Jeff Goldblum, Laura Dern To Return For Next ‘Jurassic World’
Politics

Chelsea Manning, Reality Winner Excitedly Hoping Nation’s Newfound Approval Of Whistleblowers Will Get Them Out Of Jail
American Voices, Opinion

Al Franken Launching SiriusXM Talk Show
News, News In Brief

Home Depot Introduces New 100-Pound Bag Of Mulch For Fucking Up Back In Garden Section
News, News In Brief

Mattel Preempts Backlash Over Gender-Neutral Doll With Release Of New ‘Covered In Genitals’ Barbie

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