Vol 54: Issue 29

News, News In Photos

Hillshire Farm Releases Circumcised Bratwurst
Sports

Promotion Offers Fans Free Pizza If Phillies Don't Blow Any Easy Plays In 5th Inning
Local

Homeless Man Has Nice Summer Tan Going
Politics

Maria Butina Slips Away After Binding Half-Naked, Blindfolded Robert Mueller To Bed
American Voices, Opinion

WHO Eliminates Blindness-Causing Trachoma In Seven Countries
Local

Flight Attendant Demonstrates Proper Technique For Eating Fellow Passenger In Event Of Crash
Politics

Dozens Of White Houses Materialize From Temporal Vortex As Trump’s Changing Account Of Putin Meeting Tears Apart Space-Time
Entertainment

Comic-Con Fan Guesses He Enjoyed 60-Minute Panel Of Silently Masturbating Alan Moore Practicing Sex Magic
News, News In Brief

Peyton Manning’s Wife Quietly Asks How Much Longer Papa John Going To Crash On Their Couch
Entertainment, Magazine

Drowning Is The Number Two Cause Of Death For Young Children. Here’s How To Make It Number One.
Politics

Senate Passes Bipartisan Resolution Preventing Themselves From Stopping Trump
American Voices, Opinion

World's Oldest Bread Found At Prehistoric Site In Jordan
Local

‘My Parents Hit Me,’ Says Bored 8-Year-Old Trying To Get Reaction From Dinner Party Guests
News, News In Brief

Scientists Theorize What Earliest Dinosaur Researchers May Have Looked Like
Local

Summer Camp Hierarchy Thrown Into Chaos After Second Girl Learns How To French Braid
Politics

FBI Reveals Maria Butina Traded Sex In Exchange For All 62,984,828 Votes Trump Received In 2016
American Voices, Opinion

Comic-Con 2018 Kicks Off

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