FBI Reveals Maria Butina Traded Sex In Exchange For All 62,984,828 Votes Trump Received In 2016

WASHINGTON—Saying that their investigation indicated her involvement in election interference went deeper than previously believed, the FBI revealed Thursday that Russian agent Maria Butina traded sex in exchange for all 62,984,828 votes Donald Trump received for president in 2016. “Our inquiry into Ms. Butina recently lead us to documents showing that while acting as a Kremlin asset, she approached every single registered voter in the country and, ultimately, exchanged sexual favors for each of the nearly 63 million votes President Trump received,” said FBI spokesperson Fred Rawlings, adding that the investigation had also concluded that every single dollar Trump received from donors such as Robert Mercer, Sheldon Adelson, and Linda McMahon was given as compensation for sex with Butina. “Beginning in at least 2011, Ms. Butina successfully established back channels with a significant portion of the nation’s 235 million citizens of voting age, ultimately trading enough sex to win Mr. Trump the election. It was clearly a fairly sophisticated operation, as Ms. Butina used intelligence gathered about American voters to target people willing to exchange their vote for sex in specific, crucial swing areas such as the upper Midwest, Pennsylvania, and North Carolina as Election Day approached. Our conclusions are clear: Without Ms. Butina’s sexual favors, Mr. Trump doesn’t win the election.” FBI officials added that the investigation into Butina’s involvement concurred with the intelligence community’s earlier findings that Hillary Clinton’s campaign likely lost the 2016 election because it did not offer enough sex to voters.