Vol 51: Issue 47

Infographic, News

Black Friday By The Numbers
Sports

Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football
American Voices, Opinion

America Celebrates Thanksgiving
American Voices, Opinion

Police Took More From Citizens Than Burglars In 2014
Local

Parents Officially Designate Upstairs Television For Anyone Who Doesn’t Want To Watch Thanksgiving Football
News, News In Brief

Report: Majority Of Nation’s Civic Engagement Centered Around Oppressing Other People
American Voices, Opinion

New York Launches Terrorism Prevention App
News, News In Brief

Bigot Annoyed Local Mosque Already Vandalized Before He Got There
Sports

Ashamed Sports Journalists Admit They’ve Learned Nothing From Week 11 Of NFL Season
Entertainment, Horoscopes

Your Horoscopes — Week Of November 24, 2015
American Voices, Opinion

NIH Retiring All Research Chimps
Local

Family Worried Where Grandma Going With Conversation On Low-Income Housing
Local

Grin Slowly Spreads Across Mom’s Face As Meal Revealed To Contain Healthy Ingredients
American Voices, Opinion

WHO Criticized For Slow Response To Ebola Outbreak
Infographic, News

How Refugees Are Admitted Into The U.S.
Entertainment

The Week In Pictures – Week Of November 23, 2015
American Voices, Opinion

Texas Votes Against Experts Fact-Checking Textbooks

Unlock ‘The Onion’ Vault

Journey through 268 years of highly acclaimed, universally revered reporting. The Onion‘s archives comprise the most powerful and influential news coverage in human history.

Explore More

Historical front pages from The Onion's historical archive.