Vol 49: Issue 38

Sports

Jim Schwartz Allowed To Coach Despite Exhibiting Concussion-Like Symptoms
American Voices, Opinion

Pope: Church Must Stop Focusing On Gays, Abortion
Sports

Onion Sports’ NFL Week Three Picks
Infographic, News

The Onion’s Tips For Healthy Skin
Local

Weak Little Man Asks For Help
Dispatch, News

Lonely Nation Gathers Outside Window Of Happy Family Eating Dinner Together
Local

Police Department Deploys Fancyclothes Cop
Sports

Best Sports Movies Ever Made
Entertainment, Magazine

See Spectacular Fall Colors By Closing Your Eyes And Pressing On Them
American Voices, Opinion

‘Wizard Of Oz’ Rereleased In IMAX 3D
Dispatch, News

Hell Now A Thriving Epicenter Of Gay Culture
Infographic, News

What Apple Users Need To Know About iOS 7
American Voices, Opinion

Food Allergies Cost U.S. $25 Billion A Year
Sports

Prince Fielder Promises To Hit Home Run For Terminally Ill Detroit
Sports

Retiring NFL Player Announces Plans To Go Bankrupt, Shoot Self Within 5 Years
News, News In Brief

Old Faithful Brutally Beaten To Death By Group Of Teens
News, News In Brief

Deceitful Woman Deviously Alters Appearance To Give Illusion Of Youth, Fertility

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