Vol 31: Issue 18

Dispatch, News

Ass-Kisser Promoted
News, News In Photos

Oscar Mayer Inedibles Not Huge Success
News, News In Brief

Study: Uneducated Outbreeding Intelligentsia 2-To-1
Entertainment

ABC Announces Ellen Will Come Out In Every Episode
News, News In Brief

Scientists Discover Perfect Little Out-Of-The-Way Place
Politics

Secretary Of Education Under Investigation For Falsifying Hall Passes
News, News In Photos

God-Knows-What To Take Place In Rural Cabin
Entertainment

Eric Clapton Ossifies
News, News In Photos

Baseball Season Rumored To Be Underway
Dispatch, News

Trouser Downsizing Threatens Raver Industry
Commentary, Opinion

Help, I Am Caught In A Tree
Politics

Clinton Fires Cabinet After Watching X-Files
American Voices, Opinion

Tobacco Company Liability
Dispatch, News

Report: Quality Of Stabbings Down 50 Percent In '96
Infographic, News

Holistic Medicine Boom
Commentary, Opinion

Jean's Got Beanie Babies Fever!
Infographic, News

Penny-Pinching Shopping Tips For Seniors

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