Police Find Adorable Little Skeleton

MIDLAND, MI—While exercising a search warrant at a Morgan Road residence Tuesday, officers from the Midland Police Department reported finding an “absolutely adorable” set of skeletonized human remains. “When we pulled that plastic shopping bag from underneath the shed, we had no idea what a cute little surprise was in store for us,” said Deputy Jim Olszanski, who noted this was the fourth and by far the tiniest of the miniature skeletons police had recovered from the property over the past week. “Looking into those big eye sockets in its itty-bitty skull or at those teensy hand and feet bones—it melts your heart.” Police at the scene said they hoped eventually to find another small skeleton whose spine hadn’t been pulverized from apparent blunt-force trauma.