Parents Allow Excited Children To Tear Open One Turkey For Thanksgiving Eve

ATHENS, GA—Beaming as the youngsters rushed down the stairs and threw open the oven doors, parents Jack and Christina Packton allowed their excited children Wednesday to tear open one turkey for Thanksgiving Eve. “We know it’s a day early, but there’s nothing more magical than sitting around with friends and family on Wednesday night and watching your kid rip right into that beautiful, crispy, herbed skin,” said Jack as his son and daughter picked up various Butterballs, shook them, and tried to determine which ones they should open first. “When I was their age, I used to wait all year for the chance to pick just one turkey off the roasting pan and fling meat, bones, and grease everywhere. Yesterday, I even caught my own daughter sleeping with a 20-pound bird under her pillow because she just couldn’t wait.” At press time, Packton told reporters he probably should have hid the rest of the kids’ turkeys better after finding dozens of carcasses strewn in their closet.