Oscar Guide: Best Actor

Bradley Cooper,

Acting Style: Almost pulling off being a leading man

What He Would Have Done If He Didn’t Start Acting: Without the theater? Died, man. Just goddamn died

Biggest Challenge On Set Of A Star Is Born: The difficulty of creating great acting while working under a middling director

Home Address: 1437 Palisades Ave., Santa Monica, CA 91428

Career Highlights: A Star Is Born (1937), A Star Is Born (1976), A Star Is Born (2018)


Rami Malek,

Methodology: Deeply immersed self in role of man who knows nothing about Bryan Singer’s pedophilia allegations

Preparation For Role As Freddie Mercury: Listened to Queen’s Greatest Hits once or twice

Acting Record: 22-5

Odds: Oscar voters have been impressed by his amazing ability to kind of look like a popular dead celebrity

Career High: Appearing alongside childhood idol Destroyer in the film Battleship


Christian Bale,

Acting Style: Fat

Warm-Up Acting Technique: Berating whoever happens to be within a 35-foot radius

Background: Born an orphan in early Victorian England, Bale spent his childhood working as an undertaker’s apprentice and dabbled in petty thievery before finally being adopted by a kindly, wealthy benefactor

Metabolism: Fucked

Commitment To The Craft: Performed all of his own murders in American Psycho


Willem Dafoe,

Role He’s Nominated For: Vincent Van Gogh, if he was 62 when he died instead of 37

Acting Style: Dafoeian

You Mean William?: No

Wait, What Movie Is This?: How about you get out of your fucking bubble and stop pretending your ignorance of independent cinema is some kind of populist badge of honor, asshole. It’s about Vincent fucking Van Gogh, ever heard of him?

Prospects: Academy voters were impressed by Dafoe stepping outside his comfort zone of playing unlikeable creeps to portray a likable creep


Viggo Mortensen,

Best Known For: Being the only Viggo to ever exist

Most Notable Work: His 2004 book of equine photography, The Horse Is Good

First Acting Role: Mortensen made his film debut in the 1985 thriller Witness, playing a bale of hay

Biggest Career Challenge: Having to call Peter Jackson and tell him how much he enjoyed the Hobbit movies

Acting Influences: Just that electric moment when the director calls “Action!” and, bam! Those wild acting juices get a-flowing! It’s like 100 volts of drama straight to the performance muscles, baby! Watch ’em pop!


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