New Instant Pot Comes With Recipe Book For Easy Weeknight IEDs

KANATA, ONTARIO—To demonstrate how the popular multicooker can be used to prepare a variety of quick and deadly bombs, the latest version of the Instant Pot comes with a recipe book for easy, weeknight improvised explosive devices, sources confirmed Thursday. “This helpful guide provides step-by-step instructions on how to use your Instant Pot to cook up simple, yet highly destructive projectile charges that will absolutely blow people away,” read the introduction to the book, which goes on to claim that whether you’re a recently activated guerilla in a sleeper cell or just another lone-wolf extremist, the new pressure cooker makes it easier than ever to whip up a homemade fertilizer bomb or roadside IED. “All you need to do is throw in some nails, add a bit of ammonium nitrate, and turn it on high. Then simply walk away and let the Instant Pot do the rest. It’s so easy, even kids can do it!” The recipe book went on to advertise a bigger, eight-quart model for when you need to serve up vengeance and chaos at a large civilian family gathering.