WASHINGTON—Still groggy and sore from the late night, Mitt Romney was reportedly exhausted Wednesday after scolding all 535 liars in Congress. “Oh boy, it took until 3 a.m., but I finally got it done,” said the disheveled, red-eyed senator, who recalled confronting legislator after legislator on the House floor following the State of the Union address, repeating “You’re a sick puppy” and “You should feel ashamed to be here” until his voice went hoarse. “I got Blumenthal, I got Scalise, I got Rubio, and AOC, and Gaetz. I started losing steam there after the two-and-a-half-hour mark, but I got a second wind right after I looked Kirsten Gillibrand in the eye and said, ‘You should be ashamed to be here.’ Finally, I went to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and wagged one finger at myself.” At press time, Romney was seen stumbling around D.C. scolding national landmarks.
Mitt Romney Exhausted After Scolding All 535 Liars In Congress
Published:
