Running Back, Seattle Seahawks
Strengths: Speed and size allow him to easily evade reporters; Works well with holes, openings, gaps
Weaknesses: Spending majority of game underneath 1,200 pounds of football players may eventually take a toll on health; Bashful, so needs encouragement from teammates to pick up blitzers; Refuses to gain yards before contact
Nickname: The Fellow Whose Traits Are Reminiscent Of A Beast’s
Running Style: Menopausal rhinoceros
Pregame Ritual: Headbutting Percy Harvin 10 times for good luck
Biggest Motivation: Seeing fan-made “BEAST MODE” signs in the crowd during a game
Social Security Number: 651-42-7506
