Man Always Struggles To Sleep If He Has Even Little Bit Of MDMA After 4 P.M.

NEW YORK—Saying even a small amount could keep him awake until the early hours of the morning, local man Pete Gutierrez told reporters Thursday that he always struggled to sleep if he had even a little bit of MDMA after 4 p.m. “All it takes is just a taste of molly in the afternoon, and I’ll be tossing and turning in the nearest warehouse party until 3 or 4 a.m.,” said Gutierrez, admitting that even if he attempted to roll just to improve his productivity, he would inevitably end in the same restless rut of feeling the faces of everyone around him moving in time with the pounding light and bass. “It’s always a nice pick-me-up in the early dawn when the Frost Raven set really starts to slap. But then I have the afternoon crash when I want to kill myself and it’s so, so cold. So there are obviously drawbacks, and the real takeaway is I need to lay off it once noon comes around. I’ve tried all the little tricks to relax myself like sucking on a big pacifier and rubbing my nipples. But that never seems to work.” At press time, Gutierrez went on to say that he might try switching to a calming wind-down routine like chamomile tea and going down on someone in a club’s bathroom for an hour.