Kroger Recalls 35,000 Pounds Of Ground Beef That May Contain CEO

CINCINNATI—Admitting they were unable to confirm their product had not been contaminated, supermarket chain Kroger recalled 35,000 pounds of ground beef Thursday that may contain traces of its chief executive officer. “As some consumers have noticed particles of our chief executive officer Rodney McMullen in the meat, we have decided to pull 17.5 tons of potentially tainted ground beef from store shelves,” said spokesperson Emelia Kozal, explaining that the ground meat was likely contaminated sometime after the CEO went missing during a visit to a processing plant in North Carolina last week. “Anyone who comes across any pieces of bone or suit should dispose of the beef accordingly or return it to a store for a full refund. Customers can identify the affected packages as being labeled ‘Kroger Ground Beef 80% Lean, 20% Board Member By Weight.’” In a possibly related note, Kroger will also be recalling all T-bone steaks to ensure they did not also originate from McMullen.