After discovering the lost manuscript to George Orwell’s
You will realize that just because an idea comes to you in a dream doesn’t make it any good after spending millions establishing a projectile-flooring business.
You’ve stuck to your diet and deserve a reward. Let yourself come between an enraged mother polar bear and her cubs just this once.
There are some things that only become funny when you look back on them years later. Next Wednesday, however, will seem funny almost instantly.
Your word will never be bond again when you violate your age-old vow never to be caught dead in beige pumps.
Not to make you feel any worse, but even Virgo knows that drawing to fill an inside straight is a bad idea. Idiot.
You will be praised by needy upper-middle-class families everywhere when you found the first charity dedicated to helping the vacation-home-less.
You will be metaphorically drawn and quartered after misusing the word “literally” four times in one conversation.
Your impromptu conga line across the Mideast will somehow fail to bring peace to the region.
You will witness many instances of comedy as a delightful, if unexpected, secondary benefit of next week’s floor-buttering experiment.
Remember: You didn’t become a screen-door-factory worker for the money or the fame. Remind yourself of this constantly.
You will spend an entire day in New York City without meeting a soul. You will, however, meet dozens of actual people.
