Gamers Rejoice: Here Is The Word ‘Japan’

Gamers, prepare yourself, because all your dreams are about to come true. That’s right, feast your eyes on this: It’s the word “Japan”.

Are you in gaming heaven yet? Don’t bother answering, because yes! Yes, you are. And just to prove that this is really happening, let’s see that beauty again:

Oh mama! Just look at it up there! The five beautiful letters that all gamers are crazy about: We’re talking about our favorite noun, centered, and in twelve-point Times New Roman font. It’s the fantasy of every pixel fiend in the world, and it’s happening right before your very eyes.

What makes this even more amazing is that we’re finally seeing exactly what gamers have been demanding for years. For so long, most of us have had to make do with just mumbling the word “Japan” out loud to our friends and family. But, seriously, this? This hits the gaming sweet spot, because now we’re really seeing those perfect series of beautiful consonants and vowels arranged in just the right order. J-A-P-A-N!

Ask yourself: Has there ever been a better time to be a gamer?

But it doesn’t stop there, game junkies, because for the first time ever, here is an image of the Japanese flag. You know the one: Red dot. White square. It’s what every controller-toting diehard sees when they close their eyes at night, and here it is on your very own monitor:

And here’s Japan on a map, because we gamers love that, too:

Outstanding.

Well, game fanatics, if you manage to tear your eyes away from those beauts, make sure you stay tuned to OGN, because we’ll be publishing a similar article about Japan every hour on the hour for the entirety of our website’s existence.


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Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper