‘Diana’s There, On Netflix!’ Shout British Paparazzi Reflexively Ramming Car Into TV

LONDON—Cameras flashing as they barreled toward the screen upon which they believed they had spotted the Princess of Wales, several British paparazzi were overheard shouting, “Diana’s there, on Netflix!” Tuesday before reflexively ramming a car into a television. “Princess Di! Princess Di! Over here!” said paparazzo Edmond Dowell, gunning it through a central London living room at 90 mph and demolishing the flat-screen display as he joined the dozens of photographers attempting to get a good shot of the late princess. “Over here, Lady Di! Is Dodi with you or is he back at home? How can you spend money on a dress like that when so many people are suffering through a pandemic? What do you have to say about the BBC’s investigation into Martin Bashir?” At press time, music industry sources confirmed Elton John had just recorded a new version of “Candle In The Wind” as a tribute to the lost 43-inch LG smart TV.