Diabetic 8-Year-Old Throws Worst Birthday Party Ever

CARRIZOZO, NM—The 8th birthday party for diabetes-afflicted Jason Keoner was allegedly “the worst ever,” partygoers reported Monday. “The only treats we got were Fresca, Go Lightly sugar-free hard candy, and a carob-chip birthday cake,” 7-year-old Kim Gavin said. “When we broke the piñata open, a bunch of dried cranberries fell out.” Partygoers were allegedly traumatized when the magician’s performance was interrupted so Keoner could receive his insulin shot.