Depressed Man Wishes Friends Would Check On Him So He Could Insist He’s Fine

WORCESTER, MA—Describing feelings of isolation amid a recent episode of his disorder, clinically depressed local man Steve Arroyo reportedly wished Monday that his friends would check in on him so he could insist he was fine. “It’d be nice if my loved ones took the time to reach out to me and check on my well-being so I could immediately push them away with a lie about how I’m doing great,” said Arroyo, who stressed that he would voice a total denial of his feelings if someone would just listen. “All I want is to be offered support so I can throw it right back in my friends’ faces and make them feel stupid for even asking. Sure, I go to a therapist to lie about how everything in my life is peachy keen, but it’s not the same as the people who care about me asking if I’m okay so I can quickly say ‘Yeah, of course’ and change the subject to something else. It’s just really difficult to feel down in the dumps all by yourself without assuring others that you’re the best you’ve ever been and they don’t need to worry.” At press time, sources confirmed Arroyo was wishing he had more of a community that could watch him commit suicide.