Cop Clearly Only Pulled Over Driver To Reach Monthly Kill Quota

GREENWOOD, IN—Noting that the officer was probably just trying to pad his numbers, local man Trent Johnson confirmed Wednesday that a cop had clearly just pulled him over to reach a monthly kill quota. “Well, I was driving the speed limit and my lights were working, so he probably just flagged me to get his civilian casualty count up,” said Johnson, adding that the officer, who immediately took out his ticket book, turned off his body cam, and drew his gun had probably done dozens of other similar traffic stops that day. “Man, I know these guys all have numbers to hit, but it just sucks that no matter what he was going to find an excuse to pull me over, drag me out of the car, pin me down, and shoot me several times. All I did was drive past at the wrong time. Maybe if I beg, he’ll left me off by just paralyzing me.” At press time, Johnson told reporters that the officer had also clearly planted a gun, a bag of drugs, and incriminating DNA to reach his monthly quota of police framings.