Almighty Twitter overlord Elon Musk has begun granting amnesty to accounts banned from the platform before his purchase of the company. Here are what some of those users are saying about their prospective return to Twitter.
Roger Stone
“This is meaningless unless I can recover all the DMs I had from beautiful women who desperately needed wire transfers.”
Ye
“Honestly, even I feel weird listening to and enjoying The College Dropout at this point.”
Milo Yiannopoulos
“I’ve moved on to trying to get banned from TikTok now.”
Marjorie Taylor Greene
“Moving forward, I promise only to talk about nondenominational space lasers.”
Donald Trump
“Winning the right to come back by Twitter poll is the closest I’ve ever come to getting the popular vote.”
Kathy Griffin
“Now more than ever, my voice needs to be heard by moderate liberal boomers who still think I’m edgy.”
Jacob Wohl
“I’m just happy someone remembered I exist.”
James O’Keefe
“This is a victory for Project Veritas and anyone who believes in surreptitiously recording people saying stuff that’s actually pretty noncontroversial.”
House Republicans
“We never got banned, though we see why you’d think that.”
Alex Jones
“Oh, I’m not reinstated, but then again, 10 million active users already just repeat what I say anyway.”
Andrew Tate
“Letting me back here is a real cuck move.”
James Lindsay
“I can finally DM minors again and warn them against the dangers of grooming!”
David Duke
“Thanks, but I don’t think I want to go back to a platform with so much negativity.”
Steve Bannon
“Joke’s on Musk. I forgot my password ages ago.”
Michael Flynn
“I don’t care. I’m a Reddit guy.”
Sidney Powell
“The worst part about being off Twitter is that I had to be alone with all my deranged thoughts.”
Martin Shkreli
“I’d only risk additional prison time for successful social media companies.”
Laura Loomer
“Devastating. All I had in life was that I had been banned from Twitter.”
Mike Lindell
“I was holding back before. Now I can really let go and be myself.”
