After Donald Trump surrendered at Fulton County Jail to face felony charges for his role in attempting to overturn the 2020 presidential election results in Georgia, The Onion asked Americans what they thought of the former president’s mug shot, and this is what they said.
Ralph Gibson, Scuba Instructor
“Whoa, so that guy was a co-conspirator of Rudy Giuliani?”
Larry Nassar, Sports Medicine Physician
“Mine was better.”
Pamela Fitz, Cashier
“Without a restraining order, there’s nothing stopping him from hurting his country again.”
Skip Calsina, Bar Owner
“In solidarity with our president, I’m calling on every Trump supporter to commit a crime.”
Darren Bright, Nuclear Technician
“I’m happy that we finally know what this mysterious ‘Trump’ figure actually looks like.”
Preston Green, Bike Shop Owner
“As someone who has a shallow understanding of the American political system, this is huge.”
Nissa Polter, Flight Attendant
“Good to see justice finally being served photographically.”
Denise Van Horne, Nurse
“Hmm, doesn’t look familiar, but if I see him, I’ll make sure to call the police.”
Jim Witherton, Camping Expert
“It’s sad that the American people are taken in by distractions like their former president being arrested for engaging in a criminal racketeering enterprise to overturn an election result when there are real problems out there like Padma Lakshmi leaving Top Chef after 17 seasons.”
Paul Karavani, Amateur Designer
“I hope nobody else has considered putting it on a T-shirt.”
Kayla Prince, Notary
“It’s just as I suspected. The precise radius of dilation in the president left’s pupil, which can be seen if you zoom in on his eye to 500%, confirms that the plan is in motion. Q rides at dawn.”
Ryan Cantu, Beverage Distributor
“I wish he would smile more.”
Brian Watson, Engineer
“Why does Trump even need to get a mug shot when I already have his face carved into my skin?”
Christian Vogel, Retail Clerk
“It would have been more flattering if he’d turned his face slightly to give himself more of a profile. Something to think about for next time.”
Sarah Wrightwood, Fashion Designer
“Rather than a dour suit, I probably would have suggested he wear a form-fitting sequin dress with frontal slits, which is very in right now.”
Christiana Moon, Call Center Representative
“I think he would look nice in a hat.”
Calvin Liu, Obstetrician
“Ah, but doesn’t the photo actually prove that he was at Fulton County Jail and nowhere near the Jan. 6 riots?”
Joe Biden, U.S. President
“And yet Hunter Biden walks free.”
Natalie Steinberg, Management Consultant
“Although I don’t support Trump, I cannot condemn the man for stealing a loaf of bread to feed his starving family.”
Roger Sweeting, Retired
“How to print?”
Greg DeJesus, Car Salesman
“What?! This is not a picture of busty teens! Only show me photos of busty teens! I want to see a picture of busty teens, preferably in my area! This is not busty teens at all! This is a dry old man! Show me the teens practically bursting forth out of their tight, tight shirts! Show me the busty teens now!”
Clayton Kannard, College Student
“Mid.”
Bridget Rice, Delivery Driver
“South African president Morgan Freeman went to prison too.”
Gavin Tooley, Orthodontist
“Wow, I never thought I would see a rich white man arrested in my lifetime.”
Carl Polaski, Nurse
“Kind of disappointed you can’t see any bush. We need to do more to destigmatize that sort of thing.”
Shane Ellis, Car Wash Attendant
“We must abolish photography.”
