BROKEN ARROW, OK—Clutching the arms of their chairs and forcing themselves not to look away, the entire fanbase of the Oklahoma City Thunder was reportedly reflexively holding their breath during a game Thursday night every time rookie center Chet Holmgren moved. “I can’t watch,” several Thunder fans gathered at a local bar to watch a game against the Philadelphia 76ers were heard to involuntarily utter whenever the 7’1”, 190-pound second overall draft pick changed directions, twisted his legs, or moved his body in any way. “Oh, god, please don’t challenge those guys for a rebound. It’s just the preseason—it’s not worth it. Did he land weird on that one? Is he okay? Oh Christ, are players need to stay the fuck away from him.” At press time, the entire Thunder fanbase was reportedly doing research on other tall, thin NBA players, paying special attention to their injury histories.
Fans Reflexively Hold Breath Every Time Chet Holmgren Moves
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