Lab Assistant Who Accidentally Poked Self While Preparing Syringe Becomes First American To Receive Covid-19 Vaccine

NEW YORK—In a historic moment that marked the nation’s boldest strike yet against the coronavirus pandemic, officials reported Monday that lab assistant Alexander Durell became the first American to receive the Covid-19 vaccine after accidentally poking himself as he prepared a syringe. “Unfortunately, we couldn’t document the momentous occasion because we were still in the back and no one had their camera ready, but here he is,” said Dr. Helen Gigot of Long Island Jewish Medical Center, motioning to the lab worker who managed to inoculate himself when he tripped on a trash can and knocked over a tray that sent the syringe he had just filled with the Pfizer/BioNTech vaccine flying into his arm. “Despite the many unrelated injuries he incurred from slamming his head on the counter and crushing a tray of test tubes with his hand, the process remains very easy and perfectly safe, and we consider this a success. In fact, after being treated for multiple lacerations and broken ribs, Mr. Durell has been discharged from the ER and is already back at work sweeping up the broken glass.” Durell later became the first American to receive his follow-up dose of the vaccine when he reportedly slipped on a puddle of his own blood, fell backward into a shelving unit, and knocked over several dozen syringes that impaled his legs, chest, and face.