Onion Public Radio, Podcasts U.S. Department Of Homeland Security Unveils National Evacuation Plan Published: November 8, 2006 Advertising A Deal Of This Magnitude Only Comes To Television Once An Hour Continued on next page Explore Tags Vol 42: Issue 45 Related Coverage The Final Episode Of The Topical Papa John’s Comes Under Fire For Cruel Treatment Of The Bulbous, Deformed Creatures That Lactate Pizza Sauce Scientists Warn Americans To Stay Away From That Bird