Zoning Committee Meets, Zones A Bunch Of Shit

NORCROSS, GA—The Norcross City Council zoning committee is celebrating what it described as a “monster” zoning session Monday. “Man, we were zoning shit left and right. You wouldn’t believe the shit we zoned,” Norcross mayor Ben Richards told reporters after the four-hour meeting. “Aw, man,” said city ombudsman Dennis Mozell, “we so totally zoned the shit out of the 2800 block of Jefferson Avenue. We’re talking no commercial use—residential only. We were zonin’.”