With their recently announced plan to participate in an exhibition cage match, the relationship between billionaire tech moguls Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk has grown more adversarial with each passing day. Here are some of the harshest insults they’ve flung at each other.
Zuckerberg: “His website isn’t functional enough to undermine the nation’s democracy.”
Zuckerberg flaunts his bona-fides of allowing the public to be manipulated prior to an election on a much grander scale than the current iteration of Twitter ever could.
Musk: “You could never inherit your wealth from an exploitative South African emerald mine.”
Given that Zuckerberg was raised by a psychiatrist and dentist in a small city outside New York, this checks out.
Zuckerberg: “Bless his heart. Old man Musk ain’t worth more than gum on a boot heel.”
Uttered while fanning himself in a deck chair in the sultry heat of a Georgia evening.
Musk: “He’s a damn honky!”
Unfortunately, there is no counterargument to refute the notion that Mark Zuckerberg is, in fact, a honky.
Zuckerberg: “I’m sadder and lonelier than Elon could ever dream of being.”
Which billionaire is sadder and lonelier is actually far more neck and neck than Zuckerberg realizes.
Musk: “Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch!”
This really brought things to the next level.
Zuckerberg: “Musk seems Jewish. Just saying.”
An odd critique from Mark Zuckerberg, who is himself Jewish.
Musk: “Mark has a flat ass and no game.”
While it’s true that Zuckerberg has no game, it’s clear that the Meta CEO has an enormous ass that could fill out any pair of jeans.
Zuckerberg: “I have killed you over and over in the metaverse.”
According to Meta employees, there’s a locked room in the metaverse where, every few days, Mark’s avatar emerges heaving and covered in blood.
Musk: “I had sex with both Winklevoss twins.”
Musk has repeatedly brought up the Winklevoss twins while attempting to emasculate the Meta CEO.
Zuckerberg: “Nobody on Epstein’s plane liked you.”
Zuckerberg added that all the teens thought Musk was weird and that Epstein only invited him to his island because he felt bad for him.
Musk: “Mark Zuckerberg is a nerd who’s probably never done drugs once in his life.”
Wrong. Mark Zuckerberg has three Tums and a tall glass of water every night before he goes to bed.
Zuckerberg: “I think Elon and I actually have a lot in common.”
Saying that someone is in any way similar to Mark Zuckerberg is unimaginably cruel.
Musk: “
Musk has repeatedly claimed the 2010 David Fincher film was written about him and the rise of Zip2.
Zuckerberg: “Cars are stupid”
Zuckerberg has maintained that the best mode of transportation is sprinting in the style of the Japanese anime protagonist Naruto.
Musk: “01000110 01010101 01000011 01001011 01011001 01001111 01010101 00100001.”
This translates to “Fuck You!” in binary code.
Zuckerberg: “Elon Musk will never go to heaven because he is divorced.”
Harsh but true.
Musk: “My Gulfstream G650ER personal jet makes your Gulfstream G650 personal jet look like shit.”
You have to make at least seven figures to really get this one.
Zuckerberg: [Blinks three times.]
This is about as riled up as Zuck can get.
Musk: “Mom—I mean, shit, Mark.”
Not an insult per se, but super embarrassing anytime this happens.
Zuckerberg: “I blink approximately every 3.8 seconds while Elon Musk only blinks roughly every 4.2 seconds. This suggests a much higher tear-quotient, thus proving that I have more efficient eyes than he.”
The math speaks for itself.
Musk: “I would like to eat him. Cut open his body precisely with a scalpel, so I can sink my teeth into his lungs and slurp up his small intestine.”
This one’s not so much an insult as much as it is an expression of Elon Musk’s true desire to finally commit cannibalism.
