Americans all across the country are always busting their asses for shit pay and no goddamn benefits. The Onion examines the worst job in every state.
Alabama
African American Voter
Alaska
Moose Jockey
Arizona
Bedsore Inspector
Arkansas
Estrogen Smuggler
California
Assistant To Mr. Cruise
Colorado
Skiing Accident Instructor
Connecticut
Third Wife
Delaware
Sign Spinner On Busy Street Pointing Out State Of Delaware
Florida
Man In Manatee Costume Pretending To Be Real Manatee At Florida Manatee Encounters
Georgia
Strip Club Orchestra Conductor
Hawaii
Luau Pig
Idaho
Idaho Tourism Campaign Developer
Illinois
Diet Counselor
Indiana
Town Jew
Iowa
Exotic Butter Dancer
Kansas
Cow Shucker
Kentucky
Horse Executioner
Louisiana
Human Sandbag
Maine
Lighthouse Bulb Technician
Maryland
Unpaid Deep State Intern
Massachusetts
Dunkin’ Donuts Bouncer
Michigan
Car Breeder
Minnesota
Dispatcher For The Minnesota Chitchat Hotline
Mississippi
Chewer For Toothless Veterans
Missouri
Telebarbecuer
Montana
Sky Salesman
Nebraska
Corn Influencer
Nevada
Mindfreak
New Hampshire
Operator Of Leaf Brothel
New Jersey
Grease Extractor
New Mexico
Local Actor Who Got Beat Out For Saul Goodman Role And Won’t Shut Up About It
New York
Underappreciated CEO
North Carolina
Baker Who Really Wants To Turn Away Gay Couple But Can’t Find One To Discriminate Against
North Dakota
Last Fertile Woman
Ohio
Gastroenterologist
Oklahoma
Slaughterhouse Chaplain
Oregon
Nextdoor Moderator
Pennsylvania
Long-Haul Horse-And-Buggy Driver
Rhode Island
Clam Resheller
South Carolina
Swamp Lifeguard
South Dakota
Corn Palace Eunuch
Tennessee
Conversion Camp Counselor
Texas
Human Mechanical Bull
Utah
Caffeine Addiction Counselor
Vermont
Anthropomorphic Maple Tree
Virginia
Arlington Cemetery Zombie Hunter
Washington
Jeff Bezos’ Head Polisher
West Virginia
Green Energy Salesman
Wisconsin
Drunk Driving Instructor
Wyoming
Substitute Horse
