Worm Feels Conflicted About Feasting On Monarch Who Symbolized So Much Oppression

BERKSHIRE, ENGLAND—Troubled by the immense pleasure it derived from the flesh of such a polarizing figure, a local worm told reporters Tuesday that it felt conflicted about feasting on a monarch who symbolized so much oppression. “Granted, I’m not literally supporting her by burrowing into her decaying body and devouring the meat inside, but it still somehow seems like I’m complicit with the mass suffering the British Empire perpetrated under her reign,” said the soft-bodied legless larva, who noted that few of its fellow worms seemed to be considering the ethical implications of feeding on the corpse of the 96-year-old figurehead of Great Britain’s violent colonial legacy in North America, Australia, Central New Zealand, Asia, and Africa. “Sure, she’s delicious, but what about the rape and plunder of indigenous communities across the globe? This is the queen of an imperial power that caused so much pain and suffering that many developing nations who were under its boot still haven’t recovered. And this is still going on—just visit the British Museum and look at all the stolen artifacts. Why should I get to profit off the fact that nearly a century of royal banquets made her corpse into one of the most mouthwatering meals I’ve ever consumed?” At press time, the worm had taken another bite of the deceased regent and confirmed that all this overthinking had just ruined the whole thing.