Woman In Giddy Honeymoon Stage Of Hating Someone New

SACRAMENTO, CA—Describing how even one look at her boyfriend sent her “heart pounding,” local 28-year-old Miranda Archer told reporters Monday that she was in that giddy honeymoon stage of hating someone new. “I don’t want to jinx anything, but I think this guy could really be my future nemesis,” said Archer, whose face flushed as she confirmed the couple “basically spent every free moment fighting” together, and when they weren’t together, they were “constantly sending each other little passive aggressive texts.” “My friends can always tell when I get a message from him because my whole face just instantly tenses. I never thought I would meet somebody who would irritate me this way. Who knows though, it’s still early; I could still find out a few weeks from now that he has some crazy redeeming qualities.” At press time, Archer was heartbroken after her new boyfriend revealed he really liked her.