Woman Has Friend On Standby To Drive Car Through Bar Window In Case Date Going Badly

ST. LOUIS—Explaining that it was always a good idea to have an exit strategy, local woman Nicole Massey told reporters Wednesday she has a friend on standby to drive a car through the bar window in case the date goes badly. “Hopefully I won’t need her, but if by chance there’s no chemistry between me and this guy, I’ll send my friend Claudia a text to crash her Honda Civic straight through the wall to give me an excuse to leave,” said Massey, adding that having someone idling in a vehicle waiting to plow right into the bar, causing thousands of dollars in damage and maiming and killing several people in the process, was the best way to get out of an awkward situation. “Yeah, it’s a little rude to take off after one drink, but I’m sure he’ll understand that I have to go be with my friend who just dragged several screaming human beings across the floor. I know she’ll come through for me because I’ve done the same for her several times.” At press time, Massey was gathering her things to make her exit when two cars crashed through the bar’s window.