Widow Finally Ready To Get Out There And Outlive Someone New

ROCKLAND, ME—Determined not to feel sorry for herself or waste the time she had left, local widow Charlotte Bridges told reporters Monday she was ready to get out there and outlive someone new. “My husband Stanley [Bridges] was the love of my life, but I know he wouldn’t want me to spend the rest of my years alone when I could be spending them with another partner who will also end up dying before me,” said Bridges, who after grieving her loss reportedly looked around, saw there were plenty of eligible septuagenarians around, and realized there just might be a wonderful man out there for her to survive. “Who knows? I could still get in a solid five to seven years with someone before I must once again serve as caretaker while his condition deteriorates and I’m forced to watch him slowly die. At the end of the day, life is short, and it’ll be even shorter for whoever I wind up with. So the sooner I move on, the better.” At press time, Bridges added that she was feeling optimistic after her friend set her up on a date with a guy who had already been through two bypass surgeries and a valve replacement.