Point
Who Wants A Belly Rub?
Aw, who’s a good boy? Who’s a good little boy? Does someone want a belly rub? Does someone want to roll over and let me rub his belly? Who does? Who? Does someone want me to wub his bewwy wewwy wewwy?
Does a special little boy want a good scratch on his little belly? A good scratchy scratch for a very good boy?
Who’s got the best belly? Who’s got the best? And what about those ears? Who wants a scratchy scratch behind those ears? Who does? Who’s a big ol’ scruffy duffy boy who wants scratchy behind those floppy ears?
Who’s the cutest little boy in the whole wide world? Who wants a tummy scratch? Who’s gonna drooly wooly all over when you get your belly rubbed? Who is? Are you gonna be a big slobbery boy?
A-who wants a belly rub? A-who, a-who, a-who wants a belly rub?
Senior Vice President, Bard Capital
Counterpoint
I Want A Belly Rub
Good afternoon. My name is Clayton R. Powell III of Bard Capital Investments, and it’s come to my attention that you’ve asked who would like a belly rub. I’m a busy man with a very tight schedule, but I have a good belly and I want it to be rubbed.
According to my planner, I have a quick five-minute window between meetings, so the timing is good on my end. I can lie down on my back with my arms and legs in the air, or I can lie down on my side, and then you can proceed to rub my belly. My belly welly.
As for my ears and the question of whether or not I would like them to be scratched in addition to my belly, well, I would like that very much. I haven’t had a good ear scratch in some time, Ms. Burnsworth, and my fwoppy woppys could use a good scratchy scratch.
That said, I hope you don’t mind me wanting both. You have asked who would like a belly rub and an ear scratch, and I am simply taking you up on both offers. Now, to answer several of your other questions: I am the cutest little boy in the whole world. I have the best belly. And I am a big ol’ scruffy duffy boy.
Now, if you are going to rub my belly and scratch my ears, perhaps we should schedule a day when I’m not so pressed for time. When I get my tummy and ears scratched I don’t like to feel rushed. You understand. Monday I am meeting with the Dalton Group, so that is out. Tuesday is our big meeting with Japan. Wednesday I am golfing with several members of the board.
I could do a lunch belly rub on Thursday. Would that suit you, Ms. Burnsworth? A Thursday belly rub and ear scratch? I could have my car pick you up.
Might I also request you scratch under my chin? I very much enjoy that.
Now, Ms. Burnsworth, you should be aware that there is a spot on my belly that, when scratched, makes my leg go up and down and causes me to pant. When my leg goes up and down and I am panting that means I am really enjoying the belly rub. And, you guessed it, Ms. Burnsworth, I am going to drool when this happens. I am going to be a big slobbery boy.
So, to reiterate, I would like a belly rub. Please contact my personal assistant Heather at extension 243 and she will take care of the arrangements.
Good day.
