On January 20, President Barack Obama’s second term will draw to a close, ending his role as a world leader. Here are some items Obama still hopes to accomplish before leaving office:
Stay up all night and watch the sunrise with entire cabinet
Make sure “killed Osama bin Laden” displayed prominently on résumé
Few more weeks of attempting to convince us that our differences make us stronger
Defeat ISIS, pass immigration reform, repair broken criminal justice system, secure peace throughout Middle East
Re-rack eight years’ worth of strewn dumbbells
Mercifully kill Obamacare before Republicans have opportunity to slowly gut it
Take Merrick Garland out for drink
Rally community to put on show that will save the Tumblebrook Playhouse from demolition
Leave White House staff with detailed list of each predator drone’s individual needs
Get a few things off his chest in final press conference
