Website's New Layout Feels Like Deepest Betrayal

SPOKANE, WA—After visiting feminist news and culture blog Jezebel Wednesday morning, local woman Rebecca Lovett, 29, reported feeling “betrayal’s stinging lance” upon discovering the website had undergone a layout redesign. “What treason is this? Like a fool I trusted them, and my trust was rewarded with cruel duplicity,” said Lovett of the the site’s new scrolling blog format. “What am I to make of this vile Judas kiss, this alien thing that has supplanted my cherished layout without warning or mercy?” Lovett told reporters she would soon visit the website’s comments section to “pour black vitriol on the cowardly traitors.”