Unpopular High-Schoolers Downplay Significance Of Prom

DOVER, DE—With Dover Central High School’s May 11 prom fast approaching, unpopular seniors Kenneth Edmonds, 17, and James Montauk, 18, are actively downplaying the significance of the dance. “I feel sorry for those kids who have to dress up in those monkey suits all night,” said Edmonds, a top-notch science student who plans to attend Cornell University in the fall. “They won’t have any idea how dumb they look.” Montauk, who dismissed the event as “stupid and lame,” plans to spend prom night participating in an on-line Duke Nukem 3D tournament.