Undefeated NFL Teams, So Far

There are still seven undefeated teams in the NFL, and as usual, they’re not the ones you might expect. What are their chances of staying that way?

New York Jets: Their focus is entirely on the Super Bowl this year, so expect them to lose every game until they get to that one

Buffalo Bills: This might be the year Ryan Fitzpatrick’s game finally takes a leap and he carries the Bills to the promised land, which is to say he could throw a few less interceptions and the team might finish third in its division

Houston Texans: Have taken a great first step by being the only team in their state to not have Tony Romo

Washington Redskins: The Redskins are the new Broncos, but not the new “new Broncos”—they are terrible—the older, better Broncos, who were really just a model of the then-Packers/49ers/Cowboys and really a lot of the teams of that time; in short, the Redskins are a football team

Green Bay Packers: With the best offense and best defense, the only way they’ll lose is if they get bored and start trying some really weird shit on the field

Detroit Lions: Got to this point with an offense that is second behind the Bills in points scored, which is another way of saying that it is only week two

New England Patriots: Will probably go undefeated, because fuck us all