U.S. Military Accused Of Covering Up Hundreds Of Unexplained ELO Sightings

ARLINGTON, VA—Detailing and providing blurry photos of incidents that go back almost 50 years, activists accused the U.S. Military Monday of covering up hundreds of unexplained ELO sightings. “We’ve spoken with people all across the country who claim to have been taken aboard an ELO tour bus only to wake up days later in a field in the middle of nowhere, and yet the government continues to deny that any of this is real,” said alleged witness Felicia Gorman, who claimed she observed a stunning display of light for hours at a Phoenix theater in 1981, only to have local authorities dismiss her outright and even try to have her institutionalized as she persisted in telling her story. “This is a massive coverup. People from Maine to Iowa to Oregon have seen visions of Jeff Lynne emerging from a wall of smoke that modern technology simply cannot account for. Hundreds of people who claim they’ve seen a live performance of ‘Mr. Blue Sky’ have gone to the military to report it, only to be told that it, in fact, did not happen. How do they account for the photos people have of themselves backstage with Bev Bevan? What is the government hiding?” At press time, reporters had tried to follow up with Gorman and several other activists but were unable to locate them or anyone who knew them.