Trey Wingo Apologizes For Accidentally Calling Champion Lady Vols 'Pat Summitt's Marauding Army Of Monstrous Lesbians'

CLEVELAND, OH—ESPN broadcaster Trey Wingo said “a slip of the tongue” was to blame for an incident in which he referred to the Tennessee Lady Volunteers in less than flattering terms during their 59-46 victory over Rutgers Tuesday night. “It was an honest, if disastrous, mistake—I was just fumbling for something to say so I didn’t repeat ’Lady Vols’ one more time, and somehow the thing about the lesbian army just came out,” said Wingo, who has offered to perform any public or private act of contrition the Lady Vols required of him. “They worked so hard to get here and played so well when they did, and then I had to go and embarrass the whole lumbering herd of ungainly she-oxen in front of a national audience… Goddamn it!” Wingo’s broadcast partners Kara Lawson and Stacey Dales, both former college basketball players themselves, assured ESPN viewers that Wingo was neither a homophobe nor a misogynist and that they themselves had often made similar mistakes.