Timeline Of The U.S. Supreme Court

The highly controversial recent confirmation of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court marks an especially divisive moment in the history of America’s judicial branch. The Onion takes a look at the most pivotal moments in the Supreme Court’s 229-year history.


1789:

The Judiciary Act establishes the Supreme Court with a mandate to eventually fix all the things that the Constitution totally screwed up.


1832:

President Andrew Jackson decides to defy the Supreme Court’s ruling in Worcester v. Georgia after realizing that those Native American pussies don’t even have an army.


1869:

First Supreme Court group photo ruined by Chief Justice Salmon P. Chase blinking.


1901:

After months of striking, the Fuller court negotiates an eight-hour workday for all justices in the U.S.


1919:

Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. argues that one cannot falsely yell “Fire!” in a crowded theater even if the play is total garbage.


1926:

For 19 hours, the Supreme Court is apolitical for the only time in its history.


1938:

Congress regrets permitting lifetime appointments after 187-year-old original Justice James Iredell continues to refuse calls to step down.


1954:

Brown v. Board of Education eliminates racial segregation on paper.


1995:

Court gets hopes up that they’ll be able to meet O.J. Simpson, but his case never goes that far.


2018:

Brett Kavanaugh becomes 56th justice whose confirmation disgraces the institution of America’s highest judicial body.