News Chick-Fil-A, Michelle Obama, And More: This Week In Breaking News January 13, 2024 Published: January 13, 2024 Quiz: Who Said It, Donald Trump Or Hitler? Chick-Fil-A Announces They Will Only Serve Chickens Conceived In Wedlock Michelle Obama: ‘I Am Terrified What Could Happen In 2024 If Pennywise The Clown Comes Back’ Lloyd Austin Fails To Disclose He Was Buried At Arlington National Cemetery A 21-Gun Salute To Mass Shootings: ‘The Onion’ Looks Back At Wayne LaPierre’s Time At The NRA New ‘Extra Cheesy’ Cheez-Its A Tacit Acknowledgement That Company Could Have Been Making Snack Cheesier All Along Luxury Condos Demolished Minutes After Completion To Build Even Fancier Condos Nation’s Midsize Cities Announce They Have No Idea Who Their Mayor Is Nation’s Strangers Announce Plans To Stand Near You Advertising Iowa Blizzard Forces Ron DeSantis, Nikki Haley To Share Hotel Room Continued on next page Related Coverage Lt. Gov. Mark Robinson: ‘We All Have Crazy Ideas About Slavery When We’re Horny’ Hellspawn Annoyed By Sound Of Earth’s Residents Stomping Around Overhead Mother Earth Insists She Doesn’t Want Any Pagan Sacrifices This Equinox