Originally invented in 1965, pickleball has exploded in popularity in the last three years after people took up the tennis-like sport during the Covid-19 pandemic. While the sport is relatively new, its players take their game very seriously, and there are a few things you should avoid saying to the estimated 36.5 million pickleballers in America.
“Pickleball gives off the wrong idea that it’s okay to play sports past the age 35.”
If a 45-year-old man wants to tear his ACL, that’s his decision.
“Pickleball is just a fad.”
They said that about ultimate frisbee, too, and yet today it is the most popular sport in the world.
“This room is reserved for emergency heart procedures.”
They have every right to use this space just like everyone else, and if you don’t like it, you can whine to hospital management.
“If someone’s forcing you to do this, I can help.”
Suggesting that no one would play pickleball of their own accord is going to ruffle some feathers.
“Hey, this is way more fun than I thought it would be!”
Humoring pickleball players to spare their feelings is only going to delay their bitter but necessary realization.
“I killed your wife.”
Learning that their beloved spouse has been murdered can often throw off even the most seasoned pickleball player’s concentration.
“I think Riley Newman has what it takes to unseat Ben Johns at the top of the pickleball rankings.”
Nice try, but the average pickleball player doesn’t know what this means any more than you do.
“It’s kind of like tennis, right?”
You might as well just spit in their face.
“Do you want me to take a photo of you winning at pickleball and send it to the jocks that bullied you in high school?”
They do, but it’s impolite for you to ask.
“You are a slave to cultural trends.”
At least this one involves cardio.
“Pickleball players are taking away all the tennis courts from people who need them for gang recruitment.”
There’s plenty of space in the public park for pickleball players and gang members alike.
“Isn’t that for old people?”
Pickleball is perfect for weak, unathletic men and women of all ages.
“The name is silly, but at least the terminology is normal.”
“Dink shot,” “flapjack,” and “dillball” beg to differ.
“Didn’t this pickleball court used to be a community center?”
Gentrification is a beloved part of the culture.
“‘Hungry Heart’ is Bruce Springsteen’s best song.”
While catchy and undeniably a driver of his success, this kind of comment occludes The Boss’ deeper, more political work, which is too often glossed over in pickleball circles.
“What is the objective of the game?”
This is just an excuse to discuss if life is really just a chemical reaction, and what we see as consciousness is that reaction continuing through the ages. So the purpose of the game is merely echoes of a pair of amino acids interacting an untold number of years ago.
“I’ll check it out when I’m 80.”
Younger players especially don’t enjoy hearing their game is really for senior citizens who need to keep blood circulating.
“I hate your hobby solely out of spite for the fact that you’re happy and I’m a miserable person.”
At least you’re honest.
“I love you, Dad.”
He’s never been good with feelings-type stuff.
