While environmental lawyer Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is known for many things—including his anti-vaccine conspiracy theories, racist and antisemitic comments, and viral shirtless pushup routine—he has most recently made headlines for his 2024 presidential campaign. If you happen to know someone who is voting for RFK Jr. as a third-party candidate, here are the things you should never say to them.
“What scientific credentials does RFK Jr. have?”
He spent over three hours on The Joe Rogan Experience.
“He lost the respect of his entire family.”
They probably have that in common.
“RFK Jr. has been unfaithful to his wife.”
This risks making him sound overqualified to be president.
“Please stop screaming at our cashiers that vaccines cause ‘brain leakage.’ Would you like to sign up for a CVS Extra Care Card or not?”
That’s a sick way to save money, but that’s also political censorship.
“Where’s his Boston accent?”
That got bred out of the Kennedy family years ago.
“Your ribosomes are transcribing mRNA as we speak.”
Do you want to give them a fucking heart attack?
“It’s such a shame what happened to his uncle back in ’63.”
There’s no need to bring up bad memories. They know what really happened to JFK, and they know that the measles vaccination needle found on the grassy knoll has everything to do with it.
“I heard that he died and his corpse is being operated by a remote control.”
Hey, they’re supposed to be the ones coming up with dumb shit like that!
“Do you mind if I sit here?”
You are about to learn so much more about RFK Jr. than you want to.
“I’m a doctor.”
All they’re gonna hear is that you’re a crook who is bought and sold by big pharma.
“Hey, could you hold my baby for a sec?”
And risk them catching a vaccine? Not fucking likely.
“Which of his racist vaccination conspiracy theories is your favorite?”
The Jewish one or the Asian one?
“I do not wish to be associated with Robert.”
You’ve already made your point, every other living Kennedy.
“That family sure loves to have extramarital affairs.”
Please, some respect for the horny dead.
“How can you vote for someone who doesn’t believe in science and perpetuates falsehoods about foreign policy?”
It’s actually increasingly difficult not to.
“It’s my 13th birthday”
Measles should have gotten you by now.
“I’m so sorry for your loss.”
There’s nothing sad about a kid whose short life didn’t include the dangerous side effects of vaccines.
