While the First Amendment protects the right to peaceful assembly, the police are often given wide latitude in their ability to disrupt protests, which allows them to use slight provocations in order to arrest or assault citizens. Here are things to never say to police officers at a protest.
“Hello, officer.”
Courts have repeatedly found that verbally acknowledging law enforcement is adequate grounds for the use of force.
“You’re not the police, I am!”
That’s only going to work maybe 10% of the time.
“Wanna get out of here, big guy?”
Best to wait until after the protest to propose a night of steamy lovemaking with an officer.
“I am here to peacefully demonstrate aga
A surefire way to get yourself shot.
“How do you plan to spend your time after you’re placed on administrative leave for beating the shit out of me?”
It’s best not to jump to this part of the conversation until after you’ve been severely injured or maimed.
“I pay your salary!”
The idea here is you’re their boss and their only punishment for beating the shit out of you is a three-day vacation? Probably not worth saying out loud.
“I knew your father. Y
Every cop today knows this, but it’s up to their father’s old partner to tell them this, not you.
“Your gun is showing.”
Pointing this out in front of everyone could embarrass them.
“Can you assault me so I’m on the news?”
No need to waste your time asking.
“Check, please.”
Cops hate it when you mistake them for waiters.
“We’re actually just here to distract from the bank heist.”
You’re blowing our cover, idiot!
“I know my rights.”
C’mon. No you don’t.
“Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke,/Ya gotta understand:/It’s just our bringin’ upke/That gets us outta hand!”
Although most police officers have an abiding love for Sondheim, their hearts lie more with Sunday In the Park With George than West Side Story.
“Can you kill me with one punch?”
It usually takes several, but not for lack of trying.
“Help!”
They’re not here for that.
“Express y
Wrong NWA lyrics.
“I actually love getting maced!”
Reverse psychology is unlikely to work on these hardened law enforcement professionals.
“Can you take my picture real quick so I can head out early?”
If you only came to the protest for a photo op, at least have the decency to get out of there without befriending a cop.
“I’m a big fan of your work. Can you sign your name and badge number?”
They’ll see right through this shameless ploy.
