While it’s best to avoid engaging with them at all, if you must talk to someone who is a member of “Chiefs Nation,” here are things you should never say.
“How’d they manage to become as despised as the Patriots so quickly?”
Have to admit, that’s an accomplishment.
“My sport’s team corporate stadium namesake sponsor is more boring.”
Thinking your team’s stadium sponsor is more boring than a federal employee insurance provider is a nonstarter.
“Even if the Chiefs win the Super Bowl, they’ll just have to compete for it again next year.”
Christ, you’re right—when does this end?!
“Your logo is racist!”
That’s the appeal.
“Tyreek Hill is innocent.”
He’s on the Dolphins now, so Chiefs fans no longer have to pretend to believe that.
“I prefer New England–style barbecue.”
You actually shouldn’t say this to anyone.
“Your team has faced charges of cultural appropriation and misuse of Indigenous names, symbols, and practices.”
They’ll tomahawk-chop you.
“Mama Kelce loves Jason more.”
Shut up, Jason!
“Soccer is football in most of the world.”
This works on most NFL fans, actually.
“Face mask, automatic 15-yard penalty, first down.”
That’s bullshit, ref.
“Show me the tomahawk chop but not in a racist way.”
Is any Chiefs fan up for that challenge?
“Camus wrote that one should die unreconciled and not of one’s own free will, even the starting lineup of the Chiefs.”
Chiefs fans famously reject absurdist philosophy as shallow and pessimistic.
“Do you think it’s better to be respected or feared?”
Are you drunk?
“Wow, they’re really good at holding the ball and running and falling on the ground.”
Chiefs fans can do their own commentating, thanks.
“You know, tens of thousands of rambunctious, drunk fans doing a tomahawk chop might be an upsetting spectacle to members of the Native American community.”
What? No, they definitely love it.
“Oh, I thought it said ‘Chefs.’”
You probably should eat something.
“Go Chiefs!”
Chiefs fans hate themselves more than anyone.
