Giving up on your dreams isn’t always as pathetic as it sounds! Here are things no one tells you about moving back to your hometown as an adult.
It’s No Longer Called New Amsterdam
It’s New York City now.
You’re Going To Run Into Your High School Sweetheart
That’s right, Mr. Clasky is still teaching American History.
Your Bully Is Waiting At The City Limits To Greet You With A Punch
He’s stood at the boundary line with his armed cocked for the past 15 years.
The Old Pizza Hut Is Now A Panera
Whoa. This place really has changed.
Everyone Is Going To Call You ‘City Boy’ Now
Look at you, driving around in your fancy electronic car with your long-winded opinions.
They Made Your High School Mascot More Racist
You knew Indians wasn’t the most politically correct mascot at the time, but changing it to Redskins was really surprising.
The 7/11 Parking Lot You Used To Hang Out In Has An Age Limit
Sorry, no one older than 18 can loiter here.
There’s A Big Statue Of A Cow Now
Not sure why, but okay.
You Still Have To Attend Homeroom
It may be a nuisance, but you need to stop by your old high school and check in every morning.
It’s Easier With Alcohol
The alcohol consumption is only concerning if it gets concerning.
Bruce Springsteen Will Keep Calling You For Inspiration
Seems like the Boss is running out of material.
There May Be Between 6 And 19 People Whom You Do Not Recognize
There is a slight chance that a handful of people who did not live in your hometown when you were growing up moved in while you were not living there.
All Your Old Friends Heard You Were Coming Back And Left
Ouch. Well, you have to remember that people change.
Homogenization
Luckily, your hometown now looks exactly like the place you just moved from.
Your Old Principal Is The Mayor Now, And He Still Has It Out For You
But as fate would have it, you’ve still got a few tricks up your sleeve as well!
Your Parents Moved To Phoenix
What the hell? When? Where are you supposed to stay now?
He Never Stopped Thinking About You
Remember the night before you left? He wishes he had said something then, but now is all we have.
You’re Never Leaving
You may think you can always move again, when in fact you now know exactly where you’re going to die.
