Last week, a team of psychologists declared boxer Mike Tyson–suspended by the Nevada State Athletic Commission last year for biting off a piece of Evander Holyfield’s ear–”troubled” but fit to fight. What do you think about Tyson’s bid for reinstatement?
“I’m still not convinced that Tyson has the emotional and mental stability necessary to pummel the shit out of somebody.”
Amanda Petry • Legal Secretary
“Tyson just hasn’t been the same since that one time he was born.”
Danielle Garbey • School Psychologist
“If the commission refuses to reinstate Tyson I’m sure he’ll be happy to return to his first love: sexual assault.”
Chris Rozema • Sales Consultant
“Tyson should be allowed to box only if he truthfully answers one question: Why’d he fuck Joey?”
Jonathan Brookens • Systems Analyst
“Tyson was provoked by Holyfield. The videotape clearly shows Holyfield hitting him.”
Tony Wilcox • Surgeon
“That guy? He’s nuts. I don’t care what anybody says–that Freeman Dyson is one whacked-out physicist if he thinks anyone will ever construct a mobile artificial planet.”
Jerry Lopez • Mathematician
